So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
