Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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