We need to rekindle our bromance
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
