So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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