Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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