she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
