One girl and one boy is just not enough.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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