ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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