plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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