At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
