I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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