So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My liver just had a heart attack.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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