Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And my parents said I crawled through the house
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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