Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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