2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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