Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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