so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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