The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
