we're blogging at a bar
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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