Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
