I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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