why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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