Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
