I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you had me at cake vodka
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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