If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's shark week go big or go home
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
