Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
