We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
