I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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