I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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