I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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