capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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