the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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