We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it wasn't lemon gatorade
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
