The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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