college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize