margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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