hotel room ftw
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Randomize
