aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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