My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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