i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
