Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize