so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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