Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
