I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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