Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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