So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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