the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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