And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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