I think scott just propositioned me for sex
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
