At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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