Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
