somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
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You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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