we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So many bounce houses so little time
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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