see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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