After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
