i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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